MANY youths begin to date at a very young age. The media promote this practice as normal—as if it were harmless recreation. Understandably, then, if you are not dating someone, you may feel left out. Indeed, you may even get teased and ridiculed for not doing so. No one likes to be ridiculed. But should you date just because others are doing so? Just what is dating? And what purpose does it serve?
What Is Dating?
‘We’re not dating. We’re just friends,’ many youths claim, even though they are spending a lot of time with someone of the opposite sex. But whatever you call it—dating, going together, or just seeing each other—when a boy and a girl single each other out and start spending time together socially, more than friendship is usually involved. And dating does not have to be in person. Discussions in Internet chat rooms, on the telephone, through the mail, or by E-mail can also be forms of dating. The question is, Just how serious is it to spend time almost exclusively with someone of the opposite sex?
Dating—The Dangers
At Proverbs 30:19, the Bible speaks of “the way of an able-bodied man with a maiden.” This expression suggests that male-female relationships tend to follow a pattern. When both parties are mature and hold to godly morals, dating can lead to love and, eventually, to honorable marriage. After all, God created man and woman to be attracted to each other. But what if you are not old enough to handle marriage? By dating prematurely, you are setting yourself up for a fall. Why? Because if you spend a lot of time around someone of the opposite sex, it is only natural that your emotions will become aroused. Before you realize it, you look forward to seeing that one. When you are not together, you find yourself thinking about him or her. All too often, though, the feelings are one-sided—and someone gets a broken heart. And even when the feelings are mutual, frustration and heartbreak still result when one or the other is not mature enough or old enough to get married. Really, where can such a relationship go? A Bible proverb says: “Can a man rake together fire into his bosom and yet his very garments not be burned?”—Proverbs 6:27. Interestingly, when the Bible speaks of “the way of an able-bodied man with a maiden,” it may refer to sexual relations. In today’s world, dating is often a prelude to sexual relations. It may begin innocently, just by holding hands. A quick hug and a kiss on the cheek may be next. It is one thing for two young adults who have made a serious commitment to each other to make such expressions of affection. But when two people are too young to get married, such behavior does little more than needlessly inflame sexual desire. Acts of “affection” can become increasingly inappropriate or unclean. They can even lead to some form of fornication. The fruits of fornication are bitter. Some who engage in it contract sexually transmitted diseases. Others suffer a loss of self-esteem and damage their conscience. Some young girls find themselves pregnant. No wonder that the Bible gives this command: “Flee from fornication”! (1 Corinthians 6:13, 18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3) Avoiding premature dating will help you to heed this command.
When to Date
This does not mean that you will never be able to date. But if you are a teenager, you are probably in what the Bible calls “the bloom of youth.” (1 Corinthians 7:36) You are just beginning to blossom into the man or the woman that you will eventually be. During this period of time, you begin to mature physically, emotionally, and sexually. Your feelings—including sexual desires—may be as strong as they will ever be. However, those feelings may also be subject to rapid changes. For this reason, teen romances tend to be very short-lived. Clearly, it doesn’t make sense to date during “the bloom of youth.” It is best to wait until you know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, and what goals you wish to pursue. Also, you should be old enough to carry out the responsibilities of marriage. As a teenager, you may simply not be ready for it yet. In that case, you would be wise to resist the temptation to date, since dating is a step toward finding a marriage mate. Put simply: If you are not ready for marriage, you shouldn’t date. Waiting until you are ready to date will not be easy. But it is worth the wait. By using “the bloom of youth” to grow up into a mature, responsible adult, you will spare yourself a host of problems. You will give yourself the time to develop into the kind of person who can handle the pressures and responsibilities of marriage. You will also allow yourself time to grow into a spiritual person. That way, when you are finally ready to date, others may very well see you as someone really worth getting to know better.Need some dating advice please.?
Stop treating the new girl like she's the old girl......DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! Don't go dragging the crap from the last relationship into the new one! Think of it as a brand new opportunity to start new every time....that''s the best thing about dating....one doesn't work out, you get to start all over with someone else....that's why it's called moving ON, not moving one thing right into another. Leave all that fear about the old girl with the old girl......bring everything you had to offer to the new girl and make it NEW AGAIN :)
Dude! Welcome to the world of dating. It's like that all over and there are not any guarantees... Just pick up the pieces of your heart and get back in there. You will learn something from each of these experiences. Something about girls, something about you - what you will and will not accept. If you look at all this as a learning experience, it will help you weed out all the bad girls and learn to recognize the good girls... But even with good people still comes pain... The bad times helps us appreciate the good times more... Don't give up. As far as this girl - next time stand up for yourself - people will push you as far as you let them!! Sometimes you have to demand respect. Good luck.
awe, first of all, i'm a 15 year old girl and i'm really sorry that had to happen to you. i can't imagine what kind of girl she must have been to do that to you. I also can't imagine being so confident in someone's character as to do all that and be as surprised as you were.
first off, heres a little advice. the good girls are worth going after but don't over commit. sending air planes that send messages to go out on a date are way too much (the extremes!) you really shouldnt put that much consideration and not to mention MONEY into someone that you're not going out with. a cute little note and brownies baked by you should get a girl to go out with you. girls that you want to date and potentially go out with you take for a cup of coffee instead. %26amp; she really shouldnt even expect you to pay, you just might want to offer. but dont be expected to pay ALL the time.
srsly, next time you're taking someone to prom and it's not SENIOR prom and you're not dating, i'd say just go with the slacks, tie, shirt, and coat ordeal. pay for her flowers. but i cant imagine what kind of restaurant you had that you paid ofr reservations.
my point: don't go over the top. you'll only create yourself as a door mat.
otherwise. take what i said into consideration. you cannot be afraid of girls, that was just one bad apples (certainly we're not all like that). when you find a girl worth it, be creative and cute, let the romance come in later.
good luck (:!
You need to move on.(im not trying to sound mean).No not all girls are that insensitive.Im not.When I had to break up with my bf he felt really bad so I explained to him y i broke up with him and stuff...and was nice about it...then he felt better.Just be confident and youll get there!Good luck!
not all but a lot i think they believe that they are the only ones that can hurt ......but as for finding courage just think that if you dont you'll never get the chance again and if you get shut down that at least you didnt wimp out and let the moment pass. live each day as if it were your last, like tommorrow may never come and you'll find yourself taking chances dont let yourself regret this moment but instead know that you had the testicles to say something.
anyway thats how i feel
marinate on that
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