Internet dating. Advice?

I've known this girl for a long time. About 2/3 years, though there was a period of a few months where we didn't talk, and I've only really been close to her for the last 2 years or so. I've only spoken to her over the internet. She's in New York, and I'm in England.


For about a year, we've both had feelings for each other that were basically more than friends. It came on quite slowly for me, and I think the same for her.


We've both had a lot of crushes. They tend to be over in a few months, I think my longest crush was for 4. Even though this is over the internet, it feels like a lot more. I really feel like I love her, and she feels the same way about me.


Basically, we used to spend as much of our spare time as possible 'together'. I'd come home from school and she'd be there (She's home-schooled) then I'd spend as much time as I possibly could talking to her until I had to go to bed. In the holidays it was easier, I'd get up at 1, which was around the time she got up (Her time is 5 hours behind me), then I'd be up until about 3am, when she had to go to bed. I pulled a couple of all-nighters, but I was usually out for most of the next day, so that wasn't too often.


I'm 14, and she's 14 in January. I know we're just children, but please take this seriously. If it does happen to be some giant, overblown crush, which I really doubt, then so be it. If not, I really need help. I don't see this dissapearing any time soon.


It would be about 7 years until we could see each other properly, which I can wait for. It will be hard, but I think I can do it. We both have to go to college.


Basically, her mum is the problem here. We're both female. Her whole family is christian, including her. I'm not atheist, I do think there's a god, but I don't want to worship him for reasons which are my own. Please, I don't want to go into religion. If you're a christian, great. I'm happy for you. But I'm not becoming one any time soon. This is my first time posting on this site, but I've seen a lot of arguments over that.


Anyway. We're both female. Her mum is strongly homophobic. We're bisexuals, which she thinks is disgusting. Her mum recently found out she was a bisexual, and to put it simply, she's furious. She thinks her mind is impure, and that she needs to have councelling from other christians (Stroooongly biased) though I don't think she went through with that, because (Let's just call the girl I'm seeing A for now, okay?) A didn't want to and she decided to give her a choice. She's giving A extra exams or something, to help 'purify her mind'.


And she's forbidden her to speak to me. She's allowed on the computer still, but with supervision. I can handle waiting to see her properly, but no way can I handle not speaking to her altogether. The only time A can speak to me now, is when her mother is out. Sometimes these things get cancelled. She'll sneak on when her mum's out for a few minutes, so she can tell me when she'll be here, and then leave again. At most, she's on for 40 minutes, when she does actually show up. 40 minutes is really nowhere near enough, especially bearing in mind that we were speaking for up to 10 hours a day before. It's been three weeks since this has happened, and it's still not any easier.


We both suffer from really bad depression. Bad enough that we don't see any point in life anymore, and just want to die. I've began to cut, but I don't think she has, thankfully. She has tried to kill herself twice in the past though, even though it was a long time ago, before I even met her. I can't begin to say how scared I am that she might do it again. If she was successful, I don't know what I'd do. I can't live without her, but I lack courage to kill myself.





I really, really need help with this. We both do. I don't know how we can get through this. It could be up to a year. I can't live that long like this. I'm so scared of losing her, even though it's pretty much inevitable now.


Any advice is welcome.





Just a note, I know she is who she says. I've seen pictures, and I've seen her on the webcam. Even my mum doesn't doubt it.





And another note, my mum has tried to get me into counselling for this. It doesn't work. I need advice on how to deal with this myself, and sort something out between us. Any way we could speak to each other more? I don't think that ones possible, but it's worth a try.


Thanks for reading. %26lt;3


It's kinda longg.





...It's a lot longer than I thought.





Basically, I love a girl, I can't see her. I need help with this.Internet dating. Advice?
Ten hours of talking? goodness, when do you sleep?





Wow... That is more like a life story than a question. haha but here's my advice, if it's worth anything:





I'm fourteen too, so we're pretty much in the same boat. It seems like for awhile you guys will probably have to do what you're doing now. The forty minute planned talks. Until her mom lets her get on the computer more regularly, that's all that can happen. I think you won't have to wait all the way until seven years pass to meet each other in person, because you can take trips in college too. Soon enough her mom will forget that this happened and let her use the computer again. But in order for that to happen, A has to pretend that talking to you doesn't matter to her anymore. Then her mom might think your dating was just a phase or something, and let her use the computer. (this is where you guys will be able to talk to each other more like you used to.) Good luck trying to get together :)